So far in our journey we have spoken with one birthmother. We spoke with her once and, in our excitement and nervousness, made the mistake of not asking if we could contact her again. In order to reach out, you have to have the birthmother’s permission and preferred method of contact, which is totally understandable. We didn’t ask and, after hanging up, immediately regretted it. Flag this as a lesson learned as we move forward.
Though we only had one 30-minute conversation, we find ourselves still talking about her, wondering about her, and hoping that she (and the baby) are doing well. We think about how busy she must be with finals. We talk about how beautiful the weather has been and how she’s probably enjoying the time outdoors where she is. It’s strange, isn’t it? You can talk with someone for such a short time, yet they stay on your mind for months afterwards. Maybe even years. Maybe we will always wonder about her.
Birthmothers are such special people. They are daughters and granddaughters and sisters and aunts. They are brave women with incredible hearts filled with love. They deserve our care and respect. And when they contact us, we are so thankful. We want them to know that, even if we aren’t the chosen parents, they are not alone. They stay in our hearts and minds. And just as a birthmother never stops thinking about her child, we should never stop thinking about her.